When The Universe Throws A Curve Ball

It’s been a long while since I’ve written my thoughts here.  Not because I haven’t wanted to, but because I just haven’t had a chance to, which probably isn’t entirely true.  Can I just blame it on my extreme fatigue and lack of not wanting to do anything except sleep?  It’s 100+ degrees in AZ and the sun is literally beating me down.

Since my last post, things have been pretty crazy around here.

I planned and completed yet another Mom Entrepreneur Celebration on May 7, awarded and crowned our 2011 winner, Shannon Rozas.

Found out one month before our big event that  feeling somewhat fine and drinking to relax were completely out of the question now that I was 7 weeks pregnant (who knew?).  Dealt with some serious morning sickness and fatigue, but somehow managed to still get on stage at the event, smile and emcee it.  (If you happened to read my blog about some certain requirements I had given my husband on “when” we could conceive, it went completely out the window.  Who was I to think I could plan a pregnancy???  Duh!! You don’t plan pregnancies.)

Went on vacation with my family to CA and promised myself I wouldn’t even look at my email (I didn’t, so I’m very, very proud of my accomplishment to not work), came back to jump start my event planning business, Details Event Management, expand and host meetings for The Mom-e Club, and work on projects for Simply Put Marketing.

Life’s busy.  Not to mention with a toddler tugging at my hip, telling me no one minute, then asking me for help the next.

So is life.  It’s going to get a lot more exciting this month when I found out what we’re having and I have the urge to redecorate the house in my nesting period.  I can already feel the temptation coming on!

My blog writing has taken a backseat, so to speak, but is however, on the forever to-do list I have to keep my sanity on days when I feel it spinning out of control, my belly continues to grow before my eyes and I can no longer see my toes, and my son continues to test his poor mama, especially on days like today when he decides he wants to run out in a crowded parking lot when I have my hands full.  Fun, fun.

Do you write to keep sane too?

Climbing out of my accounting mess.

Tax time. Accounting. Reconciling statements. All things I completely despise. When you run a business, it pretty much comes with the territory. No real way around it. Sorry.

I’m not sure when I decided I didn’t want to do any of it (maybe January 2010??), but it happened and now I’m buried in accounting HE**, literally buried, by bank and credit card statements, copies of all my client invoices and checks, and it’s a completely chaotic, dreadful situation.

And who do I have to blame? Just call me Mrs. Procrastination if you will.

Today, I just had to get out of my home office to a place where I could be left alone to focus with my massive stacks of paper. So, I went to the cafe at Mission Community Church.  Great place by the way with complimentary coffee and WIFI.  Beats the pants off Starbucks.  No loud music, no one in the room, just me and my stacks.  I managed to get through reconciling one and a half of my businesses before it was time to pick up the kiddo. Looks like this afternoon I will be heading straight back to the cafe to complete my mission…at Mission.

My point is now that I’ve seen what “shoving things under the rug” really looks like at year’s end, I’m a little, make that very, disappointed in myself that I let it get this far.  I wasn’t always like this, but as my businesses tripled, accounting just didn’t seem as fun to me anymore.  I’m normally pretty organized, but give me something I hate and I’ll avoid it to no end. By procrastinating on something as simple as balancing my business statements month to month, getting my files ready to hand over to the accountant has become a two-day process…without bathroom breaks.

I’m so thankful that today’s Mom-e Club speaker, Angela Sticca Snyder of Your Accountant’s Office, is hosting a webinar titled, “Organize Your Piles to Files in Time for Tax Season” with me and all accounting procrastinators to set us straight in 2011. Her talk could not have come at a better time.  If this sounds like you too, I hope you’ll join in.  Starts at 12pm MST.

So, what situation has procrastination gotten you into lately, and has it changed your thinking for 2011? I can definitely say it has mine.  Quickbooks, you and I are going to get to know each other extremely well this year!  You can bet on it!

Rule of Life #30 (page 128)

“It’s perfectly natural to question your business model and change your course of action if your original plan just isn’t working for you.  Many business owners do and their business is healthier and more profitable because they’re now doing something they love.  The key is to believe in yourself and set your mind to it.”

Marketing.

That’s what I thought I was going to do for the rest of my life.  Even went as far as to start calling myself the “Mommy Marketeer.”  Too many mouseketeers and Mickey Mouses in my house these days.

If you would have told me I’d be the founder of a mom entrepreneurs’ networking organization and the creator of the Mom Entrepreneur of the Year award six years ago when I dove head first into entrepreneurship, I would have smiled and laughed, and asked if you were for real.

Life has a funny way of telling us what direction it wants us to go in.  You never know where you’ll end up.  For me, marketing just ain’t it anymore.  Sure, I still do it, but it’s not what gets me excited in the morning.  Helping mom entrepreneurs see their worth does.  Putting on extravagant events on a very tight budget thrills me.  Did I mention that chaos, not calm, is my middle name?

Last Tuesday I spoke to the Arizona Small Business Association about overcoming and preventing obstacles.  Several aspiring entrepreneurs and some already established ones asked me whether this path they were on was the right one.  Well, only you can determine if you like what you’re doing in life.  And if not, maybe it’s time to dig deeper into what you’re truly and utterly passionate about.  Might surprise you just as it did the heck out of me!

The key is this – once you find that passion of yours, take action, deep breaths and keep on moving your dream forward.

Rule of life #27

“Many adults go through life never learning how to forgive their parents for their faults.  They harbor painful memories that eat away at them every day, but are never willing to pick up the phone or stop by for a visit to remedy the situation.  Before they know it, it’s too late, and they will never be able to tell their mom or dad how they really feel.  People are human.  We all make mistakes.

Life’s too short not to forgive others for their actions.  Sometimes it takes you to make the first move, even though you disagree.  It took my dad time to realize we didn’t have a strong relationship, and it took me time to realize I had it in me to forgive him.  When I did, I found I could rest easier, be happier and move on with my life.”

I’ve heard from a few of my readers that this rule of life lesson resonated the most with them.  They had been holding such a grudge over something that happened so long ago that it kept building, eating at their soul, and never got any better.

One reader told me that after reading this particular chapter, it encouraged her to reach out to her mom and spend one last Mother’s Day with her before she passed away that week.  The very last memory she had was dancing with her mother on the dance floor at a Mother’s Day dinner.  Although she missed her, she was grateful she had this special memory to remember her by.

Broke my heart and made me smile at the same time to think that I may have encouraged her take that next step.  I could never imagine losing a parent before getting the chance to reconcile with them, which is why I personally chose forgiveness.

In the past couple weeks, I’ve written more confrontational-type emails to family members, clients and even my home builder telling them how I really feel.  I definitely used the “don’t hold anything back” approach in all emails.  And you know what?  I got a timely response back from each and every one of them…good, actionable ones, too.

Why?

Because I was honest.  I told them exactly how I felt.  I stopped blaming myself and letting it control my life.

Many of you know I don’t sleep as it is.  Heck, I’m writing this blog at 2am.  I’m a mom entrepreneur.  Who needs sleep?  But when something bothers you so much it keeps you awake at night, you know it’s time to fix whatever is broken.

As we enter into a new year, I urge you to think about your relationships.  What’s keeping you up at night?  What’s  constantly on your mind making it hard to focus?  Who in your life could really use your ear and your forgiveness, but is too scared to come to you?  Don’t wait for them.  Instead, take the initiative and do it for yourself.

Reconciling with my dad was the best decision for me to make.  In doing so, he now has a relationship with his grandson – something that may have never happened had I not stepped up and forgiven.

Rule of life #29

“It’s the little things that matter.  It’s not the fancy jewelry, flowers or gifts, but the sweet and utter simplicity of words that show how much you care.  No matter how redundant it may be, it’s always a nice feeling to be noticed (and appreciated) by the ones you love most.”

Sean, Caleb and I spending family time together in San Fran last summer.

Every now and then, my husband Sean has the power to surprise me.  It’s always when I least expect it, too.  To others looking in, his actions may not seem like such a big deal, but to me and without sounding too lovey dovey, it reminds me of why I married him in the first place.

Sure, there are times when he does something so insane that it makes me want to pull every last strand of my hair out (who doesn’t, right?), but then he does something so out of the ordinary and it makes those “other” times more tolerable, more forgettable.

I believe what they call that is MARRIAGE.

Take Friday for instance.  Caleb was sick and I had meetings all morning – my Mom Entrepreneur Celebration planning committee meeting followed by my channel 12 Coffee Talk segment on AZ Midday which lasts all but a few minutes, so Sean stayed home with Caleb.  On my 45-minute drive into Phoenix, I received a text from Sean with these few words…

Go get em movie star.

Yet another text I saved in my phone.

Here I was thinking that Sean really could care less about the projects I’m working on, but he really did support me, in his own quiet way.  And even though he missed my segment by an hour (I tivo’d it just in case), he truly was proud of me.

The next day I received yet another big surprise.  An unloaded dishwasher.  Yep, I’m easily excited, especially by completed household chores.

No gifts exchanged.  No money spent.  Just words and action.

In church over the weekend, the pastor challenged us this holiday season to do one thing – give more by spending less.  He said, “Instead of giving your family unneeded and unwanted presents, give them your presence.”

Think about it.  What is your child going to love most this Christmas?  The gift that will either break, become too small on him or lose his interest by spring?  Or the fact that you took time out of your chaotic day to make cookies with him and take him to the park?

You already know what’s on my to-do list.

What little things are you doing to create a big impact on others’ lives?  Please share.

As parents, we tuck our kiddos in and tell them every night, “Sweet dreams.” 

Our parents did that with us.  Their parents did that with them.  It’s tradition.

But as we get older, does our ability to dream go away?  Do we constantly need that reminder from our parents that it’s okay to dream, and that sometimes dreams really do come true?  Cue the song from Cinderella here.

Yesterday I had lunch with a good friend who told me flat out that she didn’t know if she had it in her to dream anymore.  She was exhausted.  She was unmotivated.  She was tired of hearing all of the “no’s” before she could get to that “yes.”  She didn’t want to go home after being rejected by client after client and tell her husband that the money she was counting on wasn’t coming.

Nothing saddened me more than to hear her talk this way.  It literally broke my heart.

It’s true things are harder than they were before, especially if you’re an entrepreneur struggling to make ends meet.  Can’t speak for all, but for most.  The economy is lousy, our homes are worth less than what we paid a few years ago, and that client you’ve come to depend on?  Hate to break it to you, but it may not happen.

Brace yourself.

No one ever said that living your dream would be easy.

But if we don’t have our dreams, what do we have?  We have nothing to look forward to.  Nothing to motivate and challenge us.  Nothing to pick us back up to try and try again.  Just a bunch of empty days.

It was then that I conducted what I call a “dream intervention” on my friend.  She needed to be reminded that her dream WAS well within reach, but that she had to work hard to get there.  She needed to know that there would be some, or several, road blocks along the way to try and stop her, but that she could and would overcome them.  And she needed to know that having more than one dream was okay.

Hey.  Who says you can only have one dream?  I have plenty of them.

We left our lunch meeting and I could tell that the dream intervention had done a complete 180 on her.  She was smiling.  She was confident in her own abilities.  She was ready to make her next move.

Yep, sometimes a friendly reminder is all we need to hear we’re headed in the right direction.

So I ask, are you living your dream? And if you aren’t, what can I do to get you back on that road?

Rule of Life #8 (pg 39) says:

“Don’t try to bite off more than you can chew.  When you take on too much, you suffer, and your work suffers because you’re spread too thin.  Instead, ask for help and look for other like-minded (I’ll also add enthusiastic) individuals to share the workload.  Pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses and find others that can fill in the gap.  Your health, your sanity and your client will thank you for it.”

How many of us do this?

We think we have superhuman powers to take it ALL on without any help.

A fellow mom entrepreneur was planning a big event in October.  I asked her how things were going and she said, “It’s going,” which led me to believe that things could have been going much better if she just had a helping hand.  And so, I offered mine.  She seemed surprised that I had stepped forward.

Being an event planner myself, I know that creating an event, especially its first year, can be a logistical nightmare.  Last year while planning the Mom Entrepreneur of the Year event, I literally would sleep an hour on our sofa next to my laptop, get up and work, go back to bed for another hour and get up again to check proofs my designer Erin was sending me.  My health was affected, I was running on caffeine, and I was irritable to my husband for six months.  But why?

Because I thought I was superwoman.

I bit off way more than I could chew.  I was juggling more balls than I needed to.  Here I had some wonderful volunteers willing to take things, even little things off my plate, but I just couldn’t let it go.  True, the event was successful, but it would have run more smoothly had I delegated tasks I didn’t really need to do.

Fast forward to now.

I’m planning the event again this year (set for May 7), and already have a group of seven very capable women to hand tasks off to while I take care of what I need to do for it – connecting with potential sponsors and marketing the heck out of it.  This is my strength.  Figuring out what hors d’ oeuvres to serve at the cocktail hour?  Not so much my priority.

As you think of projects you’re working on, figure out what tasks you’re passionate and good at, and what you can afford to pass off.

Your weakness will always be someone else’s strength.

To read more rule of life lessons, view blog posts and download chapter 1, please visit When the Universe Throws a Curve Ball – How a mom entrepreneur went from disappointment to living her passion.

I have been to plenty of time management classes.

Listened to countless professional organizers.

Read a number of blogs.

They all tout the same thing.

You need a schedule.

Especially if you juggle as many balls in the air as most of us mom entrepreneurs do – taking the kids here and there, adhering to client requests, chasing and following up with new business….actually working.  And no, I’m not talking about responding to comments on my friend’s Facebook page, which by the way, is a total time sucker if you don’t get it under control and limit your social media intake.  I’m certainly guilty of it.

Life would have been so much easier had I just listened the first time around.

Don’t we all say that though?  And finally, we throw our hands in the air because time tick tocks past us so quickly that we wonder where the day went when we thought we just dropped the kids off and are now back in the car picking them up.

We finally take the advice of the professional organizers and time management consultants and we go out and buy the one thing that can help us get it all straight!

Are you ready for this?

You’re probably thinking by now the way I’ve hyped it up that it’s some fancy, expensive tool or software program you need to learn.

Truthfully, it’s not expensive.  It’s not fancy.  My 2-yr old Caleb figured it out.  Heck, you could even buy it at the dollar store, but what it’ll save you in time and money is absolutely PRICELESS!

Okay, here it is.  My one gift to  you that has saved me hours each day (well, since firing up this bad boy last week.)

The ultimate time saver. The kitchen timer. A gift thanks to my friend, Kris Kohlmann, who knew I desperately needed this!

Surprised?  Don’t believe me?  Try it.  I guarantee you are going to love it and if you don’t, I’m sure you’ll find other uses for it, like taking the cookies out of the oven.

Now, here’s the key.  You need to make sure you USE it.  It won’t do any good sitting in the package.

It has to constantly tick and tock at you that time keeps on slipping into the future.  (Seal video to follow to emphasize my point. )

What I’ve found to be most effective is setting it in conjunction with my daily to-do list.  I assign increments of time to each task now and when I set it, it’s almost as if I’m racing to the finish line where the prize is a little “me” time until my next go round.  Sure you can set your oven timer or your phone, but it’s not the same.  Well, not for me anyway.  I need to hear the annoying tick tock so that I stay 100% focused on the task at hand, or I give into distractions, like Facebook and checking my email every time my BB dings, which can most definitely wait.

I’ve found that I’m crossing things off  of my list left and right.  Getting it all done, staying organized and clear-headed.  My office is super organized, the house isn’t a complete disaster, and Caleb’s not the last one waiting at childcare for me anymore.

I’m PRODUCTIVE!

I’m MORE EFFICIENT!

And as moms, don’t we all want that?

Here’s that Seal video I promised to get you going in the right direction and to start your Monday off with some cool lyrics.

Because just as Seal says in his video, “Time keeps on slipping into the future.”

What are you doing to get more of your time back?

Comments welcome!  Have a productive week, everyone!

On October 22, Sean and I made our way to Las Vegas for two reasons – to celebrate his 33rd with a mini vacation and a romantic dinner for two at Roy’s, and so that I could attend the 2-day Chris Johnson Free Money University grant seminar.

I’ll first start off by saying that Vegas has never ever really been good to me.

I don’t gamble too much and when I do with the little bit of money I’ve set aside as “fun money,” I usually end up defeated with $1 in my wallet and extremely frustrated at myself for being suckered into giving my hard earned cash to the casino.  It’s not enough to even get a small Wendy’s frosty in Yuma on our drive back to Phoenix.  Oh yes, this has happened. And when it does, you just feel, well, down on your luck and crummy.

I’m not sure when it happened on this trip, but somehow my luck changed.

After losing three straight hands in Paigow Poker and feeling “defeated,” I was coaxed or shall I say invited, yes, that’s more pleasant, to come to the blackjack table by the dealer motioning, “Come on over,” to me.  I sat down with $10 and after an hour or so of playing, I looked down to see my stack had grown to just about $200.  I cashed out when Sean said, “Let’s play roulette.  I want to put $10 on lucky #33.”  I’ve never played roulette, but like most people who play this or the lottery, it really is a luck game.  There’s no strategy really. Just pick the numbers you want and you’re off to the races.  I picked the numbers that matter most – birthdays.  Caleb’s 19 and my 15.  Two spins and a 19 and 15 later, I was now holding $70!  35 to 1 odds.

I smiled all the way to the cashier’s station.

The next day I was at the grant seminar and was asked to fill out a registration form for the drawing – a cash prize followed by some trip giveaways.  I filled it out like everyone around me, stuck it in the box and was done with it.  After lunch, Chris shuffled the sheets around in his box (about 120 of them) and drew…you guessed it…MINE!

Seriously, what was happening here???

I “woohoo’d” my way to the front of the room, danced around on stage and was now holding a crisp $100 bill in my hand.

This is not me!  I’m never ever lucky…ever.  So for all of this to be happening, one crazy win after another, and even another win at blackjack the next night, I finally felt like my luck was changing.  Not just at the casino tables since as I mentioned, I’m not a big gambler, but that my life’s luck was changing.  There was no more, “How am I going to make ends meet?”, but “How am I going to use the tools I learned in this 2-day seminar and educate myself on changing my family’s financial outcome and future?”  See, my mindset was shifting and just as it did, the world shifted with it.  Chris Johnson had given us about 50 handouts and a huge list of links giving away “free money.”

Those that know me, or who have read my book, learned that I am not typically a woo-woo person.  I don’t really believe in signs, but that weekend felt like one gigantic sign to me.  And at 3:33am when I woke up to look at the clock in our hotel room and as I do at 11:11 and 2:22, I made a wish and went back to bed.  Okay, I guess I am a little woo-woo.

Hey, a girl can wish, right?

On another note, I first wrote this blog while in Vegas when I couldn’t sleep the last night I was there, but never posted it.  Today, November 2, I received an email from Heather Lopez who plans the Super Mom Entrepreneur Conference that I was being awarded a $500 grant + graphic design and photography services to use toward my “just off the ground” Mom-e Club.  Ironic because I was just saying how I needed to do more research today on grants.

I tell you that whatever you want to call it, luck or faith, it’s working.

Has your luck changed?  Comments welcome.

I didn’t intend to.  My goal was to talk solely about my vision over the next year and how I was going to get there, but it got me…emotional.

At our very first Mom-e Club meeting in Gilbert, I was surrounded by nine women, some of whom I had only met a few times, some not at all.  As each woman shared their vision, their struggles, their passion for what was to be achieved next year, I listened with great empathy because I knew that what I was doing with this club, building relationships and nurturing others’ spirits, was just one small part to help them achieve their goal.

Next up, me, last one in the room to share.  I started off by saying that I had originally launched a marketing business which was my passion, but after having Caleb, that passion completely changed.  And then…total meltdown.  I was digging through my purse looking for my Puffs tissues so I could wipe the mascara that was smearing down my face.  So many of these women had told me on various occasions that they look up to me, were inspired by the things I had done in my life and were in “awe” standing next to me.  They had put me up on a high pedestal and frankly, I didn’t feel that I had the right to be there.  Didn’t feel like I personally could fill those big shoes.  Lack of confidence and self esteem?  Yes, you guessed it, but why?

We all put on this facade when we meet other women whether through networking or when we’re public speaking.  We represent ourselves in this confident, composed manner, but truthfully, most entrepreneurs are struggling financially and do have ghosts in their closet.  Who isn’t?  Especially in this lovely economy.  Behind that exuberant, welcoming, “no fear” smile on their face is a worried woman trying to figure out how to make ends meet and when the next big gig is coming.  Not everyone, but most.  Sometimes it’s just too much to keep that facade going and when you finally feel comfortable with friends or a group of women to let it out or break down in tears, you do.  You show your vulnerability just as I had done.  And you know what?  There is NOTHING wrong with that.  It felt pretty darn good to finally get my feelings off my chest that had been sabotaging me all along.

It was then that these women brought me back to why they admired and were inspired by me.  It was not my actions, but the person I was becoming, and it all became quite clear what I had to do.  I had to stop throwing a pity party, pat myself on the back for anything and everything I had accomplished; realize that all of these dreams of mine take sacrifice and hard work; and that success was not a measure of how much money was in the old bank account.  The success or “money” would come as a result of my efforts and dedication, maybe not in the near future, but it would, and I could be happy, financially satisfied and passionate about what was in front of me.

As women, we need to have role models we can look up to.  It’s what keeps us motivated and inspired to never give up.  But don’t we relate more to them when we know the true story behind that smile?  Aren’t we more attracted to them when we learn they haven’t been handed everything on a silver platter, and are real people who have faced some hardships just like us?  And when we learn more about them, aren’t we more willing to help them achieve their goal?

I do.

When was the last time you showed your vulnerability and opened up to those around you?  I promise by doing so it will accomplish two things.  You will never ever feel like you have something to hide or be ashamed about, and you will always have a group of very supportive people standing by and cheering you on the whole way.  You are NEVER alone in this.  And not to hype up the Mom-e Club with self promotion or anything, but if you ever feel like you are alone, rest assured there are plenty of wonderful, caring, women who are part of the club to lift your spirits back up.  That’s my promise.