When The Universe Throws A Curve Ball

Tonight, Sean, Caleb and I ventured out to Applebees for dinner with the added benefit of “Kids Eat Free on Wednesdays.”  SCORE!  As a mom, you always learn to appreciate the restaurants that cater to kiddos and give freebies.

Throughout our meal, Caleb kept tugging at Sean’s shirt to take him to the bathroom.  After looking at me with pleading eyes of “Please take him,” Sean finally gave in and took Caleb to the bathroom for number 1.  Five minutes later, Caleb tugged at Sean’s shirt again with that “I have to go” look and now it was my turn.

So, Caleb and I went and he did his business.

Being a mom who has since celebrated the end of diaper days and my potty training frustrations, I was so proud of Caleb that he did his business (number 2, I might add without being too graphic), in a public restroom all on his own.  Caleb was equally proud of his accomplishments that he rushed back to the table to tell daddy in all his excitement and glory and yelled,

“Daddy, I went poo poo and now I’m not conspated anymore!!!”

I had to giggle.   I think everyone in the restaurant heard him, too!

What does Caleb know?  To him, he’s the proudest kiddo on the block!

Sean’s reaction?  He crouched down with utter embarrassment and asked me how Caleb even knew what constipated meant.

Why be embarrassed?

These are the moments I live for as a parent.  The cute, innocent sayings, the bright, big brown eyes when Caleb has learned something new, the countless “I love yous” and kisses he gives me just because.  They aren’t going to last forever, so why not take it for everything it’s worth and enjoy the fun and silliness that comes with being a parent to a toddler?  I do.

What’s your silly story?  Love to hear it!

3:30am.

The clock keeps ticking and I’m wide awake.  My husband, kiddo and even the dog are fast asleep.

I’m jealous.

I’m 7 months pregnant with our baby girl due this December who every morning around 2am decides she wants to dance in my belly.  Who could possibly be comfortable sleeping through that?

My son Caleb made a comment to my husband Sean that I sleep too much like our dog Diesel.

Sean, of course, agreed that I sleep way too much just because I happened to be laying (not sleeping) on our couch.

C’mon.  Seriously?!?

It was then that I had to defend myself.  Explain to the boys in my house that mommy doesn’t sleep…ever.  And if I do, it literally is in 3-4 hour increments and that I don’t get to bed until 6am usually when the house is waking up.   If you have a toddler like me, you know you never get to bed once they’re up.

I vented to my web programmer Stacy about this who I believe is one of the only sympathetic men I know.  His advice?

Strap a basketball to Sean’s stomach one night.

I may just have to try that, but throughout the night, give him a few good swift kicks in the stomach so he knows exactly how I feel.

Will I?  Probably not, but it gave me a good laugh.  Plus, I don’t think he’d make it.  It’s why women like us handle pregnancy and men just watch.  I truly believe they would not and could not handle it.

So, all my pregnant friends, if it’s 3am and you just can’t sleep because your soon-to-be bundle of joy is playing kickball in your belly, please know, you are not alone.  I’m right there with you.

Signed

-Happily pregnant and sleep deprived in Gilbert, AZ

I took Caleb to his friend Julia’s 3rd birthday party for a couple hours today.  You should have seen this party.

Dr. Seuss from top to bottom.  Activities in every room coupled with food to match the activity.  Imagine green eggs (literally), Dr. Seuss top hats (strawberries, oreos, ice cream and marshmallows) for dessert, colored goldfish to match a fishing game and the book One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and so on.  I have never seen a theme party so well thought out and put together.

On top of that, there was a Dr. Seuss tea party complete with mini sandwiches, fruit, and muffins, about 20 kids of all ages making their way from activity to activity laughing it up and having a wonderful time, a book exchange, and a homemade gift for each kiddo to take home.

Talk about making a kiddo’s day!  Caleb passed out after the sugar rush faded.

We left the party a couple hours later, and as always, I texted Julia’s mom to let her know what a fabulous job she did putting it all together.

Her text back?

“Thanks.  I was embarrassed by my disorganization.”

My jaw dropped.  What?!?

Most parents don’t ever go to THIS extreme.  They plan their kiddo’s party at a pizza place and let the kids run wild in the arcade.  Or, have a swim or bowling party.  NOTHING like this!  I can’t even imagine how much time it took to coordinate every activity, search out the perfect food and decorate the house only to clean it once the 2-hour party was over.

It was so sad to see her response knowing that she had very little help in planning and organizing it, but was the worst critic of all her efforts.  There were no complaints from the kiddos or the parents.  Only smiley, happy faces.

Ladies, why are we so hard on ourselves?

Why not give yourself a pat on the back, put your feet up and enjoy a glass of wine for the job well done while the kiddos fall asleep with smiles on their faces from all the excitement?  There’s absolutely no need for embarrassment!  Planning a themed birthday party and managing kiddos is HARD work!

What’s that saying on Nick Jr?  “We’re not perfect.  We’re parents!”  I live for this saying and when I feel like I’m doing a horrible job at this parenting thing, I realize that hey, this is the best job I know how to do.  Why worry and beat myself up over it??

Chime in if you could use a pat on the back for all the hard work you do as a mom!  I will be more than happy to give you one!

It’s been a long while since I’ve written my thoughts here.  Not because I haven’t wanted to, but because I just haven’t had a chance to, which probably isn’t entirely true.  Can I just blame it on my extreme fatigue and lack of not wanting to do anything except sleep?  It’s 100+ degrees in AZ and the sun is literally beating me down.

Since my last post, things have been pretty crazy around here.

I planned and completed yet another Mom Entrepreneur Celebration on May 7, awarded and crowned our 2011 winner, Shannon Rozas.

Found out one month before our big event that  feeling somewhat fine and drinking to relax were completely out of the question now that I was 7 weeks pregnant (who knew?).  Dealt with some serious morning sickness and fatigue, but somehow managed to still get on stage at the event, smile and emcee it.  (If you happened to read my blog about some certain requirements I had given my husband on “when” we could conceive, it went completely out the window.  Who was I to think I could plan a pregnancy???  Duh!! You don’t plan pregnancies.)

Went on vacation with my family to CA and promised myself I wouldn’t even look at my email (I didn’t, so I’m very, very proud of my accomplishment to not work), came back to jump start my event planning business, Details Event Management, expand and host meetings for The Mom-e Club, and work on projects for Simply Put Marketing.

Life’s busy.  Not to mention with a toddler tugging at my hip, telling me no one minute, then asking me for help the next.

So is life.  It’s going to get a lot more exciting this month when I found out what we’re having and I have the urge to redecorate the house in my nesting period.  I can already feel the temptation coming on!

My blog writing has taken a backseat, so to speak, but is however, on the forever to-do list I have to keep my sanity on days when I feel it spinning out of control, my belly continues to grow before my eyes and I can no longer see my toes, and my son continues to test his poor mama, especially on days like today when he decides he wants to run out in a crowded parking lot when I have my hands full.  Fun, fun.

Do you write to keep sane too?

Twisted.  Anal-retentive.  Over the top.  “Way to take the romance out of your relationship” Tisha.

Yep, just some of the names my friends have called me lately.  Do I mind?  No, not really, because I have a plan.  A good one.

The topic of discussion on all of my relatives’ and friends’ minds is, “So, when do you think you’ll have baby #2?”  It’s inevitable.  Everyone always wants to know “when” the baby’s coming even though I show zero signs of being pregnant.  Even the day after our wedding, the question was already on most peoples’ minds.  Only took us four years to answer that question for them.

And so, I’ve given them a conception date.  Not an actual “we’re going to get pregnant on May 8″ date, but that on May 8, I toss the pills and the conception process finally begins.  Better book that cruise now and figure out that ovulation schedule.

You might ask why I’ve planned it on an exact date.

I live in Arizona and if there’s one thing  a new mom absolutely wants to avoid, it’s giving birth during the 115 and up degree weather.   I got pregnant with Caleb in late November which put my delivery right around the end of August.  Swollen feet and hands and pure misery combined with constant sweating did not make for a happy mom-to-be, unless I was soaking in a pool somewhere.   Guess you could say I have the right to be a little selfish about when all of this happens the next time around.  Truthfully, I don’t know too many moms who had an easy pregnancy or delivery during the summer here.

So, with baby #2, I’ve set some realistic guidelines.

1. To get pregnant between May 8 and July 31 so the baby is born between the winter and spring months which are absolutely gorgeous in AZ.  As long as the third trimester isn’t in the summer, we’re good.

2. To finish planning my 2nd Annual Mom Entrepreneur Celebration on May 7, and feel good and energetic, not tired and drained, while managing it.  First trimesters will do that to you.  Knock you out completely.

3. To be able to have as many cocktails as I possibly can handle once the event is over to celebrate another success with my staff, top 10 finalists and the big winner.

4. To have our baby and be able to spend mommy time with him or her and Caleb on maternity leave, but still be able to plan the 3rd Annual Mom Entrepreneur Celebration in May 2012.

Is it too much to ask?  Do most people plan conception, or am I just talking crazy?  Am I being too much of a control freak to let my other baby (my event) go next year?

What if my plan doesn’t work out exactly as I had hoped?  Well, part of being a mom and an entrepreneur is learning how to juggle it all and accept things as they come.  If it happens, awesome, if not, we’ll make it work.  I just wonder what Sean, my hubby, has to say about my “planned to a tee” baby birthing experience.  Hey, cruise, tequila shots, romantic couples’ getaway come May?  What man would complain??

Look for exciting news to come this summer!  You can PLAN on it.

Ahh, two years old.  It’s when a baby begins to take on the role of Mr. or Ms. Independent and can handle it all by themselves.  No help needed.

The other day, I was taking Caleb out of his car seat and said, “Come here, baby.”

To that he replied, “No baby, I’m a boy!”  Something Sean taught him so he stops acting like a baby and throwing temper tantrums.

Brilliant idea.  Tell him he’s not a baby and he won’t act like a baby.  Sean’s so smart.  Way better at this parenting thing than I am.

So now, Caleb doesn’t want any help.  He can get his own snacks.  He can wash his own hands.  He can get the laundry out of the dryer on his own, well, with supervision of course.  He can sing his own Veggie Tales song in the car without Mommy singing along.  In fact, when I open my mouth, I get “shooshed,” and he says, “I do it!!!!” Seriously.

Hey, who am I to complain?

Although Caleb has stumbled upon his new independence, I still get the constant nagging from my mom who tells me he’s growing up too fast.  “He’s still a baby, you know!  You need to baby him.”  Over and over.  I’m convinced it’s a grandmama thing.  Gees, mom, it’s not like I’ve completely given up my motherly duties.  I still put him to bed at night, read him books, change diapers.

I say bring on the independence.  Let Caleb learn that Mommy and Daddy won’t always be there to do everything for him, especially when baby #2 comes along and we could use his extra little hands.

Parents, please chime in if you agree or disagree.  Is Caleb growing up too fast and are we letting him?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Rule of life #29

“It’s the little things that matter.  It’s not the fancy jewelry, flowers or gifts, but the sweet and utter simplicity of words that show how much you care.  No matter how redundant it may be, it’s always a nice feeling to be noticed (and appreciated) by the ones you love most.”

Sean, Caleb and I spending family time together in San Fran last summer.

Every now and then, my husband Sean has the power to surprise me.  It’s always when I least expect it, too.  To others looking in, his actions may not seem like such a big deal, but to me and without sounding too lovey dovey, it reminds me of why I married him in the first place.

Sure, there are times when he does something so insane that it makes me want to pull every last strand of my hair out (who doesn’t, right?), but then he does something so out of the ordinary and it makes those “other” times more tolerable, more forgettable.

I believe what they call that is MARRIAGE.

Take Friday for instance.  Caleb was sick and I had meetings all morning – my Mom Entrepreneur Celebration planning committee meeting followed by my channel 12 Coffee Talk segment on AZ Midday which lasts all but a few minutes, so Sean stayed home with Caleb.  On my 45-minute drive into Phoenix, I received a text from Sean with these few words…

Go get em movie star.

Yet another text I saved in my phone.

Here I was thinking that Sean really could care less about the projects I’m working on, but he really did support me, in his own quiet way.  And even though he missed my segment by an hour (I tivo’d it just in case), he truly was proud of me.

The next day I received yet another big surprise.  An unloaded dishwasher.  Yep, I’m easily excited, especially by completed household chores.

No gifts exchanged.  No money spent.  Just words and action.

In church over the weekend, the pastor challenged us this holiday season to do one thing – give more by spending less.  He said, “Instead of giving your family unneeded and unwanted presents, give them your presence.”

Think about it.  What is your child going to love most this Christmas?  The gift that will either break, become too small on him or lose his interest by spring?  Or the fact that you took time out of your chaotic day to make cookies with him and take him to the park?

You already know what’s on my to-do list.

What little things are you doing to create a big impact on others’ lives?  Please share.

As parents, we tuck our kiddos in and tell them every night, “Sweet dreams.” 

Our parents did that with us.  Their parents did that with them.  It’s tradition.

But as we get older, does our ability to dream go away?  Do we constantly need that reminder from our parents that it’s okay to dream, and that sometimes dreams really do come true?  Cue the song from Cinderella here.

Yesterday I had lunch with a good friend who told me flat out that she didn’t know if she had it in her to dream anymore.  She was exhausted.  She was unmotivated.  She was tired of hearing all of the “no’s” before she could get to that “yes.”  She didn’t want to go home after being rejected by client after client and tell her husband that the money she was counting on wasn’t coming.

Nothing saddened me more than to hear her talk this way.  It literally broke my heart.

It’s true things are harder than they were before, especially if you’re an entrepreneur struggling to make ends meet.  Can’t speak for all, but for most.  The economy is lousy, our homes are worth less than what we paid a few years ago, and that client you’ve come to depend on?  Hate to break it to you, but it may not happen.

Brace yourself.

No one ever said that living your dream would be easy.

But if we don’t have our dreams, what do we have?  We have nothing to look forward to.  Nothing to motivate and challenge us.  Nothing to pick us back up to try and try again.  Just a bunch of empty days.

It was then that I conducted what I call a “dream intervention” on my friend.  She needed to be reminded that her dream WAS well within reach, but that she had to work hard to get there.  She needed to know that there would be some, or several, road blocks along the way to try and stop her, but that she could and would overcome them.  And she needed to know that having more than one dream was okay.

Hey.  Who says you can only have one dream?  I have plenty of them.

We left our lunch meeting and I could tell that the dream intervention had done a complete 180 on her.  She was smiling.  She was confident in her own abilities.  She was ready to make her next move.

Yep, sometimes a friendly reminder is all we need to hear we’re headed in the right direction.

So I ask, are you living your dream? And if you aren’t, what can I do to get you back on that road?

I have been to plenty of time management classes.

Listened to countless professional organizers.

Read a number of blogs.

They all tout the same thing.

You need a schedule.

Especially if you juggle as many balls in the air as most of us mom entrepreneurs do – taking the kids here and there, adhering to client requests, chasing and following up with new business….actually working.  And no, I’m not talking about responding to comments on my friend’s Facebook page, which by the way, is a total time sucker if you don’t get it under control and limit your social media intake.  I’m certainly guilty of it.

Life would have been so much easier had I just listened the first time around.

Don’t we all say that though?  And finally, we throw our hands in the air because time tick tocks past us so quickly that we wonder where the day went when we thought we just dropped the kids off and are now back in the car picking them up.

We finally take the advice of the professional organizers and time management consultants and we go out and buy the one thing that can help us get it all straight!

Are you ready for this?

You’re probably thinking by now the way I’ve hyped it up that it’s some fancy, expensive tool or software program you need to learn.

Truthfully, it’s not expensive.  It’s not fancy.  My 2-yr old Caleb figured it out.  Heck, you could even buy it at the dollar store, but what it’ll save you in time and money is absolutely PRICELESS!

Okay, here it is.  My one gift to  you that has saved me hours each day (well, since firing up this bad boy last week.)

The ultimate time saver. The kitchen timer. A gift thanks to my friend, Kris Kohlmann, who knew I desperately needed this!

Surprised?  Don’t believe me?  Try it.  I guarantee you are going to love it and if you don’t, I’m sure you’ll find other uses for it, like taking the cookies out of the oven.

Now, here’s the key.  You need to make sure you USE it.  It won’t do any good sitting in the package.

It has to constantly tick and tock at you that time keeps on slipping into the future.  (Seal video to follow to emphasize my point. )

What I’ve found to be most effective is setting it in conjunction with my daily to-do list.  I assign increments of time to each task now and when I set it, it’s almost as if I’m racing to the finish line where the prize is a little “me” time until my next go round.  Sure you can set your oven timer or your phone, but it’s not the same.  Well, not for me anyway.  I need to hear the annoying tick tock so that I stay 100% focused on the task at hand, or I give into distractions, like Facebook and checking my email every time my BB dings, which can most definitely wait.

I’ve found that I’m crossing things off  of my list left and right.  Getting it all done, staying organized and clear-headed.  My office is super organized, the house isn’t a complete disaster, and Caleb’s not the last one waiting at childcare for me anymore.

I’m PRODUCTIVE!

I’m MORE EFFICIENT!

And as moms, don’t we all want that?

Here’s that Seal video I promised to get you going in the right direction and to start your Monday off with some cool lyrics.

Because just as Seal says in his video, “Time keeps on slipping into the future.”

What are you doing to get more of your time back?

Comments welcome!  Have a productive week, everyone!

At Caleb’s grandmama and grandpapa’s request (my parents), we recently took a family trip to Southern CA to introduce Caleb to Mickey and Disneyland.  It was a trip of many trips planned out the day Caleb was born.  Take that back.  The day Caleb was conceived.

When you bring a two-year old to Disneyland, several thoughts enter your mind.

Will he fall sleep before we get to the gate?
How will he behave while he waits in long lines?
Will he enjoy the rides?
Will he throw a fit when we tell him the ride’s done and it’s time to go?
Will the characters scare the living daylights out of him when he sees a life-size Mickey Mouse?
And last and most importantly, will he even remember the day???

We made our way to the park on Monday, October 4.

The weather was anything but nice.  Overcast and drizzled.  Most of the ride seats were wet.  And if anyone tells you Mondays are not crowded especially when it’s raining, they’re lying.  Massive lines everywhere.  Thank goodness for the Fast Pass, Disney’s greatest invention,  and oh yeah, the nice folks on Ebay who buy their tickets in bulk and sell them to you at super discounted prices.  Saved $200 on four tickets.  $101/ticket for a theme park?  Really, Mickey?

We headed to Fantasyland first where the kid-friendly rides are located and took Caleb on the carousel, Pinnochio, and Dumbo (he loved that one).  Here’s us flying Dumbo.

Air Dumbo

Then it happened in the Storybook line.  Complete konk out and memory #2.

Storybook what?

Caleb was out for a couple hours even though we tickled him and called his name to get up.  Nothing worked.  Good for me and Sean who then ventured to the big kid rides at California Adventure, including the Twilight Terror Zone which will seriously make you squirm in your seat as you dangle high above the park, while my parents grabbed coffee and people watched.

Next up, lunch where Caleb finally opened his eyes and made his way back to the party.  He was up, energized and ready for more.  He went on about 12 more rides ranging from the tea cups to bumper cars, flyers, train ride, It’s a Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean and Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters.  He also made it through Mickey Mouse’s Playhouse Adventure Show and snapped photos with Minnie and Pluto when he finally decided it was about that time again and you guessed it, fell asleep while waiting in line for Finding Nemo’s Submarine Voyage.

Spinning out of control on an It's a Bug's Life ride

Meeting Minnie

No real fits on any rides except when the gate closed in front of him on the Rockets in Tomorrowland and he had to wait another 2 minutes and 32 seconds for the next go-round.

While he drifted off to sleep on Grandmama’s shoulder on the bus ride back to the car, I asked him if he had fun on his first date to Disneyland.  I didn’t think he’d answer me since his eyes were already closed shut, but he nodded yes and fell into a deep sleep.

Asked him the next morning if he had fun just to see if he memories had already faded, and again it was a resounding, “Yes, Mama,” as he started to name things he did including going up and nown (down for Caleb) on the rides.

So, I bet you’re asking if it was worth it.  Should we have waited until he was a little older?  Would I recommend bringing a 2-year old to Disneyland?  Absolutely.  I say bring ‘em.  Kiddos are free until 3 saving you quite the bundle, and even if they fall asleep halfway through the park, you’ll still have those memories to capture on camera just like these ones we have and a whole heck of a lot more.

Enjoy your trip to the happiest place on Earth!