Hubbies Have Feelings, Too

01 March 2014 Categories: Blog, The Mom-e Club, The Mommy Chronicles

On Facebook a couple weeks back, SheKnows.com asked the question, “Which is harder?  Marriage or parenting?”

The list of responses generally sided with “parenting” taking the cake, except for one which quickly had me reconsider my answer.

It was, “How about marriage while parenting?”

I was so relieved that another mom voiced her opinion as it is exactly how I feel most days.

As I’ve eluded to in past posts, my kiddos are my everything…oh whoops, scratch that.

Shouldn’t that say, “My husband and my kiddos are everything to me?”

Whoever said marriage was a walk in the park was LYINGAnd if you take your marriage for granted, you quickly learn it takes two to make a thing go right.  Cue the song.  Yep, I went there…

couple argument

Just when I think I have the work, life, balance thing down to a science spending quality time with my kiddos AND pleasing customers as an entrepreneur, the hubby throws me for a loop and stresses to make “family” a priority, which of course in  translation means, “make ME a priority.”  He then stresses that married life, eh, ain’t so good when you hardly get to see each other and that all he wants is his wife back.  He wants the honeymoon stage before the kiddos and chaos ensued.  And I’m so burnt out most days, I can hardly remember what I ate for dinner last night let alone our honeymoon.  We had a honeymoon?!?   What was I even like back then before all the grey hairs started popping up?  Probably a pretty fun girl.

Okay, I’ll admit, date nights have sort of slipped.  Heck, even sleeping in the same room has.  Okay, I know what you’re thinking.  We’re not Ricky Ricardo and Lucille Ball’n it.  I’m just an insomniac by trade up late working crazy hours, then asleep when he’s getting up at 5am.

I’m also not a huge football fan, except for AZ Cardinals games, so watching football all day long on Sundays, well, it makes me crazy.  So many things to do, so little time.  Sure you can relate, just like I wouldn’t expect Sean to partake in one of my favorite activities…Zumba.

Throughout the last few months, and after the same argument has been circling round and round literally, I’ve learned something from Sean that I’m certain is pretty common among men I’ve come up with my own, uh, top 7 list.  It has taken me almost 10 years to figure this out in my personal rendition of “Dummies for Wives -  How to be the best wife and mom-e you can be.”  So here goes.

PRIORITY means:

1. Not having to say anything.  Sitting next to, being present, and enjoying each others’  company on the couch is enough for him.

2. Surprising him at work to take him to lunch when he least expects it shows he’s at the top of the list.

3. Texting or calling him randomly throughout the day to tell him I’m thinking of and love him.  Even ending the call with, “I love you,” may be just what he needs to hear which I’m really bad at saying.

4. Actually scheduling date nights on a visible calendar in our home, not just saying we will. Particularly the kind of date night where talking is required.

5. Sleeping in the same bed, even if it means I start off there then end up on the couch by morning because my brain never shuts off!

6. Realizing that we got into this marriage because we truly loved one another and wanted to be a family.

And lastly,

7. Knowing that clients and work will always be there tomorrow and that some days, it’s okay to say “no” especially if the last three nights I’ve been gone working and got home when everyone was asleep.

I’m not a marriage counselor by any means, and I’m still learning how to strengthen my own marriage, but for me, these gestures and special touches can go a long way as I hope they will for anyone reading this.

If you have more tips as to what works for you, please share. I’d love to hear them and incorporate them into my life and new “book.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sharpening Pencils Is NOT Even an Option

20 November 2013 Categories: The Mom-e Club, The Mommy Chronicles

Last night, my husband Sean and I got into a wee bit of an argument on how I spend my time these days juggling business and the household that I thought I’d share…or vent more like it to the mom-es out there like me.

Although being an entrepreneur can stretch me in so many directions, I haven’t forgotten why I became one – to never miss a moment with my children for their adolescence will be gone before I know it.

At Caleb’s school, the ASU Prep Academy, it’s a requirement (30 hours), and a darn good one, that parents get involved with their child’s school in some way by volunteering in the class, planning school events, or sharpening pencils and cutting construction paper at home.

Guess which ones I chose?

Yep, the first two because I want to see my child in action at schoolI want to meet his friends he talks about every day and I love that his face lights up when I’m there at his class working on an activity with the students.

The last time I volunteered, it was, I’ll admit, a little crazed (think Kindergarten Cop), to do an activity with 25 kiddos, but to hear Caleb ask me how many nights it will be until I come back made made my heart melt.

I have the flexibility to be there for him, whereas some moms and dads can’t due to work schedules.  Why on earth would I choose to sharpen pencils if I can physically be there?!?

So no, Sean, even though it’s my choice on how I get involved with the school, and yes, it cuts into time I could be spending working on my business, I WON’T settle for sharpening pencils while I catch up on my Netflix shows.  You can to whittle down our 30-hour debt, but I choose Caleb.

Just think.  What will my days be like when both Ellie AND Caleb are in school? :)  She turns 2 this weekend.  Only 3 more years to go til kindergarten is back again!

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The day started with a button

23 May 2012 Categories: Blog, The Mommy Chronicles

Do you remember when you had a baby and were in the “what the heck do I wear?!? nothing fits!” stage?  Or, are you there right now?

I hate to admit it, but I’m still there and Ellie turns 6 months tomorrow.  Sigh.

With the weather being 111 in Arizona, my clothing has become extremely limited, especially for work engagements when a moo moo dress won’t cut it and I have to look professional and polished.  Gees, sometimes I really dread these days.  Why can’t we meet in PJs with drawstrings?

Every morning while the clock ticks away and I have even less time to get ready because I’m also getting two other human beings ready, I sit in my closet and frantically go through outfit after outfit trying things on, wondering if I squeeze my gut in just so if it still looks as ridiculous as I feel.  Yes, it’s a bit degrading.

Today after trying a dress on, taking it off, then putting it back on, I decided this is the only thing that looked somewhat decent so I kept it on and said to heck with it.  It looked fine, I had five minutes until I had to leave, and then we were off.

Just as the kiddos and I were ready to head out the door and I leaned over to give Ellie her paci, I heard a “pop!”

Yes, my button had popped off.  Not fell off, but popped off like it was trying extremely hard to keep closed and the worse part was, I couldn’t find it!  The button was the very last one on the dress and if I had let it go without sewing it back on, which was totally noticeable, who knows what would have happened to the other buttons throughout the day.  One can only imagine me running half-naked to my meetings because all of them decided to jump ship…a sure sign the dress didn’t fit quite yet.

I ran upstairs with even less time, locked myself in my closet and screamed as loud as I could once again pushing hangers and clothes every which way trying to find an outfit to wear, while tearing up as I settled on a pair of pants that still didn’t fit right and an over-sized blouse to cover my pants button.

Caleb came upstairs and with his sweet angelic face said, “Are you sad because nothing fits and your belly is fat?”

Yep, straight from my toddler’s mouth.  What do you say to that???

When I told my mom this story, she said nonchalantly, “Why don’t you separate the work clothes that fit you with the ones that don’t so you don’t have this problem every morning?”

Easier said than done, Mom.  If I did that, I’d have to buy a whole new wardrobe!  God love her.  She has a solution for everything even if I don’t want to hear it.  I’m stubborn like that.

Tonight I found the button.  It was hiding underneath the sofa.  Darn button.

I know one day I’ll remember this day and laugh about it, but for now, the button reminds me that tomorrow’s another day in which I have yet to find something to wear for a meeting, a Jillian Michaels DVD to get back to, and a button to sew back onto my dress when it fits again.

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Congrats to our 2012 Mom Entrepreneur of the Year, Dr. Susan Wilder!

23 May 2012 Categories: Details Event Management, The Mom-e Club, The Mommy Chronicles, When the Universe Throws a Curve Ball Book Excerpts

I’m so pleased and honored to announce that the winner of this year’s Mom Entrepreneur of the Year award is Dr. Susan Wilder, founder of LifeScape Premier, mother of three beautiful daughters, wife of Robert Wilder, and perhaps one of the kindest doctors you’ll ever meet.  If you’ve had a chance to watch her video and The Mom-e Club’s finalists for 2012, you’ll notice that each of them have such a unique story to tell – of overcoming challenges to find their true passion, of never giving up on themselves when giving up sounds like such a good option, of finding their pursuit of happiness in a world when negativity surrounds us all, and being an advocate for women-owned businesses and vowing to support them in their endeavors.

All of our finalists – April Goff, Bridges Conner, Dana Wright, Jami Lindberg, Kim Saks, Kimmie Noe, Mary Metzger, Maria Wojtczak, Shauna Murphy and our 20102 Mom Entrepreneur of the Year Dr. Wilder, are all winners in my book and the women you look up to and strive to be.

Congratulations, ladies!   I’m so very proud of you for sharing your story!

http://www.momentrepreneurcelebration.com

2012 Mom Entrepreneur of the Year finalists, winner Dr. Susan Wilder, Tisha Marie Pelletier, founder

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My most favorite time of the year is here! Find out what it is!

09 February 2012 Categories: Blog, Details Event Management, The Mommy Chronicles, When the Universe Throws a Curve Ball Book Excerpts

Can you guess it?

Nope, it’s not Valentine’s Day.  Not St. Patty’s Day.  Okay, I’ll give you a little hint.  It’s not a holiday, but it really ought to be for how hard all mom entrepreneurs work.  We NEED a day off without any interruption.

I guess you can tell I’m a true entrepreneur at heart when my most favorite time of year involves one of my businesses, The Mom-e Club, a few months of planning my signature event (now in year 3, woohoo!) and revolves around recognizing so many deserving mom entrepreneurs for their talents and achievements.

Yep, you guessed right.

It’s The Mom-e Club’s Annual Mom Entrepreneur Celebration!

Every year when February settles in, I get uber excited knowing that in exactly three months (May 10, 2012 right before Mother’s Day weekend), I get to stand up on stage with 10 fabulous women, crown (tiara, sash, roses and all) and award our next Mom Entrepreneur of the Year.

Our 2010 top 10 finalists and I (I'm the short one in the middle.)

I just love watching the videos of real women who share their stories with the world; who aim to inspire others to take that leap of faith; who stand up after experiencing failure and tell the world, “Hey, I’m not done until I say I’m done!”  (Gees, just writing that makes me feel a surge of motivation inside.)

If you are a mom entrepreneur, then I encourage  you, “PLEASE, DON’T HOLD BACK!”

This is your year to shine.

Let us help you spread your message that you are, without a doubt, a mom entrepreneur that DESERVES to be recognized by her own family, friends, and even complete strangers for all the wonderful things you do!

So, how do you spread that message?

Easy.  By investing three minutes in yourself and submitting a video entry before our March 26 deadline.  That’s it!  No catches, no gimmicks, just three minutes of your time.

Not sure what to say?  Just speak from the heart.  Tell us why you love being a mom entrepreneur and wouldn’t trade it for anything else.  Tell us how you got where you are and where you plan on going.  Introduce us to your kids, the hubby, your dog, your goldfish.  Whatever you like.  It’s about being the real you.

Shannon Rozas, our 2011 Mom Entrepreneur of the Year

Still not certain you can do it?  Watch our 2011 Mom Entrepreneur of the Year finalists and our lovely winner, Shannon Rozas, share their stories of hope, fear, failure, triumph, and success!

Still not convinced this award has your name on it?  Well, then I’m guessing this blog post didn’t do justice, and you’ll now have exactly one year and three months to put together your video entry for 2013. No pressure though.  We’ll accept entries next year, in 2014, in 2015, you get the idea. :)

To enter our 2012 Mom Entrepreneur of the Year contest, which I certainly hope you do as it’s open to all mom entrepreneurs nationwide, check out the contest details here.

Best of luck to you!

We announce our winner the evening of May 10, 2012 at the Ultra Luxe Lounge in Scottsdale, Arizona and invite you to join us for this truly unique, over-the-top, inspiring, can’t touch this, happy tears, joyful, event!  (And for the record, that’s what the husbands in the audience have to say!)

See you then!

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And the overwhelm finally sets in.

07 February 2012 Categories: Blog, The Mommy Chronicles, When the Universe Throws a Curve Ball Book Excerpts

Easy. 

I wish I had a big red Staples button right about now to tell me life was getting to that point very soon.

After having Ellie exactly 10 weeks and 6 days ago, but who’s counting, I finally felt the overwhelm set in.  So much in fact that Caleb’s teachers started commenting on my recent tardiness in dropping him off 10-20 minutes late.  Yeah, still haven’t yet mastered how to get out of the house on time with he and Ellie and cook breakfast for him that he doesn’t have to scarf down in the car on the way.  Nutri grain bar, anyone?  I’m notorious for saying that lately.  Hey, easy, right?

His teachers ask me, “Are you having a rough morning?”

To that I reply, “Is there ever a morning that isn’t rough?”

When the teachers ask you that, you know everyone notices, including Caleb’s 3-year old classmates.  They try to be polite, but you know deep down they’re thinking, “Poor girl.”

I’m sure every mom feels that way, especially when another kiddo enters the mix.  Complete and utter overwhelm.  If there’s not a button, there without a doubt needs to be.

I remember the week I had Ellie saying to myself and friends, now THIS is a piece of cake.  Who says I can’t manage two kids, three businesses and a household?  Of course, no one corrected me.  Friends and family nodded politely, smiled and muttered under their breath, “Oh, you just watch.”

Let’s say I’m eating my words every day trying to settle into somewhat of a routine.  And while I’m figuring out how to manage it all with a certain grace and style, life challenges me yet again and throws another twist into my already crazed, lack of time, morning…administering two sets of breathing treatments to Caleb to prevent asthma from creeping up every morning until the end of May.  Wowzer.  Better make that a double wowzer.

I almost asked the doc yesterday if he was for real.  It’s not like getting a toddler to sit still for 20 minutes while he holds a mask over his face is going to be a walk in the park.  I can barely get Caleb to take cough syrup that’s over in 20 seconds!

Now, what the heck to do?  I can’t very well be an hour late to drop Caleb off.  What would the teachers think then???

All I can do is get through it.  It’s what moms do, right?  We wake up an hour earlier.  Take a quicker shower, or maybe just sport the baseball cap and ponytail look.  Make sure the kiddos don’t roll back into bed, or that I don’t myself.  Get them up and feed them breakfast that’s not eaten while driving in a car.  Be out of the house by 8:30am and on our way.

Sound easy?

Better ask me in a couple weeks.  I have a feeling I may need a bit more time to adjust to my new life.  One of these days though, we’ll get there…and the easy button.

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Why be so embarrassed?

22 September 2011 Categories: Blog, The Mommy Chronicles

Tonight, Sean, Caleb and I ventured out to Applebees for dinner with the added benefit of “Kids Eat Free on Wednesdays.”  SCORE!  As a mom, you always learn to appreciate the restaurants that cater to kiddos and give freebies.

Throughout our meal, Caleb kept tugging at Sean’s shirt to take him to the bathroom.  After looking at me with pleading eyes of “Please take him,” Sean finally gave in and took Caleb to the bathroom for number 1.  Five minutes later, Caleb tugged at Sean’s shirt again with that “I have to go” look and now it was my turn.

So, Caleb and I went and he did his business.

Being a mom who has since celebrated the end of diaper days and my potty training frustrations, I was so proud of Caleb that he did his business (number 2, I might add without being too graphic), in a public restroom all on his own.  Caleb was equally proud of his accomplishments that he rushed back to the table to tell daddy in all his excitement and glory and yelled,

“Daddy, I went poo poo and now I’m not conspated anymore!!!”

I had to giggle.   I think everyone in the restaurant heard him, too!

What does Caleb know?  To him, he’s the proudest kiddo on the block!

Sean’s reaction?  He crouched down with utter embarrassment and asked me how Caleb even knew what constipated meant.

Why be embarrassed?

These are the moments I live for as a parent.  The cute, innocent sayings, the bright, big brown eyes when Caleb has learned something new, the countless “I love yous” and kisses he gives me just because.  They aren’t going to last forever, so why not take it for everything it’s worth and enjoy the fun and silliness that comes with being a parent to a toddler?  I do.

What’s your silly story?  Love to hear it!

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Men, you just don’t know.

27 August 2011 Categories: Blog, The Mommy Chronicles

3:30am.

The clock keeps ticking and I’m wide awake.  My husband, kiddo and even the dog are fast asleep.

I’m jealous.

I’m 7 months pregnant with our baby girl due this December who every morning around 2am decides she wants to dance in my belly.  Who could possibly be comfortable sleeping through that?

My son Caleb made a comment to my husband Sean that I sleep too much like our dog Diesel.

Sean, of course, agreed that I sleep way too much just because I happened to be laying (not sleeping) on our couch.

C’mon.  Seriously?!?

It was then that I had to defend myself.  Explain to the boys in my house that mommy doesn’t sleep…ever.  And if I do, it literally is in 3-4 hour increments and that I don’t get to bed until 6am usually when the house is waking up.   If you have a toddler like me, you know you never get to bed once they’re up.

I vented to my web programmer Stacy about this who I believe is one of the only sympathetic men I know.  His advice?

Strap a basketball to Sean’s stomach one night.

I may just have to try that, but throughout the night, give him a few good swift kicks in the stomach so he knows exactly how I feel.

Will I?  Probably not, but it gave me a good laugh.  Plus, I don’t think he’d make it.  It’s why women like us handle pregnancy and men just watch.  I truly believe they would not and could not handle it.

So, all my pregnant friends, if it’s 3am and you just can’t sleep because your soon-to-be bundle of joy is playing kickball in your belly, please know, you are not alone.  I’m right there with you.

Signed

-Happily pregnant and sleep deprived in Gilbert, AZ

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Please give yourself some credit, ladies!

21 July 2011 Categories: Blog, The Mommy Chronicles

I took Caleb to his friend Julia’s 3rd birthday party for a couple hours today.  You should have seen this party.

Dr. Seuss from top to bottom.  Activities in every room coupled with food to match the activity.  Imagine green eggs (literally), Dr. Seuss top hats (strawberries, oreos, ice cream and marshmallows) for dessert, colored goldfish to match a fishing game and the book One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and so on.  I have never seen a theme party so well thought out and put together.

On top of that, there was a Dr. Seuss tea party complete with mini sandwiches, fruit, and muffins, about 20 kids of all ages making their way from activity to activity laughing it up and having a wonderful time, a book exchange, and a homemade gift for each kiddo to take home.

Talk about making a kiddo’s day!  Caleb passed out after the sugar rush faded.

We left the party a couple hours later, and as always, I texted Julia’s mom to let her know what a fabulous job she did putting it all together.

Her text back?

“Thanks.  I was embarrassed by my disorganization.”

My jaw dropped.  What?!?

Most parents don’t ever go to THIS extreme.  They plan their kiddo’s party at a pizza place and let the kids run wild in the arcade.  Or, have a swim or bowling party.  NOTHING like this!  I can’t even imagine how much time it took to coordinate every activity, search out the perfect food and decorate the house only to clean it once the 2-hour party was over.

It was so sad to see her response knowing that she had very little help in planning and organizing it, but was the worst critic of all her efforts.  There were no complaints from the kiddos or the parents.  Only smiley, happy faces.

Ladies, why are we so hard on ourselves?

Why not give yourself a pat on the back, put your feet up and enjoy a glass of wine for the job well done while the kiddos fall asleep with smiles on their faces from all the excitement?  There’s absolutely no need for embarrassment!  Planning a themed birthday party and managing kiddos is HARD work!

What’s that saying on Nick Jr?  “We’re not perfect.  We’re parents!”  I live for this saying and when I feel like I’m doing a horrible job at this parenting thing, I realize that hey, this is the best job I know how to do.  Why worry and beat myself up over it??

Chime in if you could use a pat on the back for all the hard work you do as a mom!  I will be more than happy to give you one! :)

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Oh, blog. How I’ve missed you.

09 June 2011 Categories: Blog, The Mommy Chronicles, When the Universe Throws a Curve Ball Book Excerpts

It’s been a long while since I’ve written my thoughts here.  Not because I haven’t wanted to, but because I just haven’t had a chance to, which probably isn’t entirely true.  Can I just blame it on my extreme fatigue and lack of not wanting to do anything except sleep?  It’s 100+ degrees in AZ and the sun is literally beating me down.

Since my last post, things have been pretty crazy around here.

I planned and completed yet another Mom Entrepreneur Celebration on May 7, awarded and crowned our 2011 winner, Shannon Rozas.

Found out one month before our big event that  feeling somewhat fine and drinking to relax were completely out of the question now that I was 7 weeks pregnant (who knew?).  Dealt with some serious morning sickness and fatigue, but somehow managed to still get on stage at the event, smile and emcee it.  (If you happened to read my blog about some certain requirements I had given my husband on “when” we could conceive, it went completely out the window.  Who was I to think I could plan a pregnancy???  Duh!! You don’t plan pregnancies.)

Went on vacation with my family to CA and promised myself I wouldn’t even look at my email (I didn’t, so I’m very, very proud of my accomplishment to not work), came back to jump start my event planning business, Details Event Management, expand and host meetings for The Mom-e Club, and work on projects for Simply Put Marketing.

Life’s busy.  Not to mention with a toddler tugging at my hip, telling me no one minute, then asking me for help the next.

So is life.  It’s going to get a lot more exciting this month when I found out what we’re having and I have the urge to redecorate the house in my nesting period.  I can already feel the temptation coming on!

My blog writing has taken a backseat, so to speak, but is however, on the forever to-do list I have to keep my sanity on days when I feel it spinning out of control, my belly continues to grow before my eyes and I can no longer see my toes, and my son continues to test his poor mama, especially on days like today when he decides he wants to run out in a crowded parking lot when I have my hands full.  Fun, fun.

Do you write to keep sane too?

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